Sooo...
Being 25 and single I have thought on
several occasions (weddings and such usually bring this out in me) about
qualities that are non-negotiable- for me- in a spouse and things that can
be compromised. Normal? I'm not sure but I do think most girls desire to
be wanted, pursued, romanced, and loved forever by Jesus in regular imperfect
guy form that basically resembles Adam Levine or Gerard Butler, Amen? (insert
laughing hysterically emoji) But really.. so we can call it normal. I can
tell my hearts innocence has greatly matured as my unwritten list
looks much different than it did even a few years ago. Which is both a
blessing and a curse but that is a whole different story for a whole different
blog. So lets move on..
I do not want my husband to put me
first. In fact, I expect him NOT to. Ask me if I would have even considered
thinking that 5 years ago and the answer would be a firm 'no.' Don't get me
wrong, I would have definitely been prioritizing his faith vs. his 5 o'clock
shadow. But now, I am seeing the whole picture in a completely different light.
I am more clearly distinguishing the worlds view of marriage from the
Bibles truth about it. Also, the definition of what is spiritually mature
has greatly changed in my hearts dictionary. I desire for him to be so thirsty
for God that he would not even think about putting anything above Him. Including
me. He needs to know that I am human, I am flawed, I make mistakes and need
forgiveness when I am wrong, and I can not satisfy deeply like our Savior and I
need to be reminded of the same for him. As that first non-negotiable
quality becomes a reality, all the rest fall into place..
➵I want to marry a man so focused on
God the only reason I stood out is because He saw every part of me hungry for
Jesus and to him thats more attractive than any supermodel.
➵A man who knows God is the only firm
foundation for a relationship and believes only a man following Jesus
knows how to properly lead a woman.
➵A man who is faithful to me before we
ever meet because he is faithful to The Lord.
➵A man who doesn't just open doors, he
opens his bible.
➵I want a husband who pursues me
relentlessly, loves me fearlessly, cares for me recklessly, prays for and
with me passionately, leads me boldly, serves humbly, and cherishes
deeply.
➵A man who respects, treasures, gently
corrects but confidently challenges me.
➵Understands the root of the flaws made
by my story and grieves with me.
➵Worships with me.
➵With strong hands, a steady head, and
a soft heart who stands up when I cant but reminds me to lean on the Savior.
➵He will be patient with my guarded
heart but consistent and intentional.
➵He will prove I can trust him with my
dreams and confide in me.
➵He will stand beside me, walk with me,
and support my passions.
➵He will take the time to know what
drives me, irritates me, makes me laugh, and hurts my feelings.
➵He will protect me when I need it and
even when I dont.
➵He will become my best friend.
My expectations and standards may be
high but I will not settle. I know without a doubt this is what the Lord wants
for me in a husband if marriage is what He has planned in my future. And I am
confident he will be all of these things because He loves and pursues the Lord
with all of his being. I pray he expects nothing less than a Proverbs 31
woman out of me and I pray I am growing more into one every season.
In 2008, the year after I graduated
high school, I started a journal for him. I never thought I would still be
writing letters and prayers in it 7 years later but here I am. It is so
amazing to look back and see how The Lord has made such radical changes in me
and how different I feel from that girl who just graduated high school.
I write in this journal with
good intentions knowing that God is sovereign over all things and His
ways are perfect. So whether my husband exists or not, whether or not I ever
get married, whether or not anyone ever gets to read this journal, I am content
in what The Lord has prepared for me.
If the day comes when a man is brave
enough to tackle my stubborn heart and succeeds, I pray I am filled with enough
wisdom to never put him above the One that sent him to me and that he would do
the same.
Love,
Mac
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more
than rubies. Prov 31:10 ♥
