There has been an issue on my heart lately that I feel the need to share.. I do know I am not an expert but think I have the experience necessary to hold the right to speak on this topic. Yep you probably guessed it: singleness.
We have all heard it..
"Live your life first, you have forever to be married.."
"DON'T settle, its better to be alone than with the wrong person.."
"God is not ready to share you yet.."
"He is out there somewhere.."
"You'll find him when you least expect it.."
and so on..
I could go on and on with all the views I have and all I feel would make a valid point but I am going to spare you the typical talk and share a little truth with a different perspective that I have been thinking about.. God never promised a soulmate. There, I said it. He never says he created everyone to have someone. Example: Paul. That is a big pill to swallow when all we really want is to be wanted..but it is the truth. And we shouldn't spend our time saying things that make us feel better for the moment when they hold little truth. So while the best efforts of encouragement from those who have never been in our shoes have the best intentions, do not allow yourself to have faith in words that are not clearly and wholly true.. because that sets you up for disappointment. Should we pray for our potential future spouses? Yes, the Lord wants to hear from your lips the desires of your heart. That is about our relationship, faith, and trust in Him. And He already knows your hearts deepest desires of course, He longs to make those come true! IF they aline with His will, and if they don't my prayer is that I am so incredibly in love with Jesus my desires change to match His. Like, you guessed it, PAUL! He was perfectly okay. And believe it or not, we can be to.
Am I typing a Debbie Downer post, eh I can see how it may look that way but no. I long for my prince to come, I desire children, a family of my own. I have a prayer journal I started for him 6 years ago. But I feel it necessary to have an open mind to the possibility that may not happen. Because lets be real, a small percentage of people stay single forever right? Ok, thats a truth you can believe and that is comforting. So what if I (you) happen to be that small percentage? IT. IS. OK. If that happens to be our fate, or even just our current state, there are a few truths we can rely on-
-Everything God has planned for us is for our good, even our season of singleness, no matter how long it may be. USE IT.
-The Lord keeps things from us not for the sake of rejection but for our best interest, our protection. THANK HIM.
-We know God is good, wants the best for us, and we know He is sovereign so if He is not blessing us with a spouse, do we believe He has something greater?
All of that being said, I want to encourage you to live your life now no matter what age you are! Don't sit around, put life on pause, and wait for Prince Charming to waltz in. This season is beautifully free and has so much God given potentional to do amazing things for the Kingdom. Be cautious of your motive for a relationship. Do not let lonliness or butterflies for someone get you into a situation you never should be in.
The last point I want to make is we have to stop feeding these unbiblical truths to our youth. I know the intentions are well but the consequences are damaging. "Live your life first, you have forever to be married." There are so many things wrong with that statement. "God is not ready to share you yet." So does that mean He was ready to share all of the other people I graduated high school with? Also, He did create us for community and desires for us to invest in each other and He is sharing me.. "He is out there somewhere." Well, I hope so but maybe he isnt. And my favorite, "You'll find him when you least expect it." I did not get the memo I was supposed to be on a search for him..
My heart is pure in this blogs messy attempt to lay out what I believe God has shown me in my life and I hope will encourage you. It has made me fully enjoy the moment I have been given and take what God gives me as he gives. Not expecting more or something different because He always provides and He is always on time. I'm not perfect, but I have a firm foundation to stand on and grace when I fall.
Feed on truth.
Love, Mac :)